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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 

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DOTTED STATES OF AMERICA. 





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These Talks with Boys were 
originally published in the 
New York Observer, and 
by the kind permission of the 
editors are now issued in their 
present form. 



FRIENDLY TALKS 
WITH BOYS. 



BY ,, 

w 

HELEN A. HAWLEY, 

AUTHOR OF "FRIENDLY LETTERS TO GIRLS." 



NOV J ^.jJ)/ 




NEW YORK: 
ANSON D. F. RANDOLPH & COMPANY, 

38 WEST TWENTY-THIRD STREET. 



N 






. 



copyright, 1888, by 
The New York Observer, 



COPYRIGHT, 1891, BY 

Anson D. F. Randolph & Company 



TOPICS. 



I. Prefatory, 5 

II. Citizenship, . . .9 

III. The Book, * 13 

IV. Manliness, 18 

V. Natural Advantages, 22 

VI. Obedience, 27 

VII. Habit, 31 

VIII. Concerning a Medal, . • 35 

IX. Industry, ........ 39 

X. Courtesy, 43 

XI. Integrity, 48 

XII. The Home, 52 

XIII. Muscle, .... . . 56 

XIV. Self-Control, 60 

XV. Self-Forgetting, * . 64 

XVI. Bargains, 68 

XVII. Talk, 73 

XVIII. Reading, ...*... 77 

XIX. Concentration, . . . . 81 

XX. Courage, 85 

XXI. Independence, .... 90 

XXII. Reverence, 94 

XXIII. Vocations and Avocations, . 98 

XXIV. What For? 102 



TALKS WITH BOYS. 



PREFATORY. 

YEARS and years ago, when this Republic 
was younger than it is now, I have heard it 
said that it was the custom for the minister, 
or other great man of a place (and the minis- 
ter was most likely to be the great man in 
those days), to visit the public schools several 
times in the term, catechise the children, and 
tell the boys, " You may be President of the 
United States some day." Forthwith each 
boy straightened himself and began to think 
what he would say when he was inaugurated ; 
and there was no shilly-shallying in politics, 
I can assure you, but every boy was a pro- 
nounced Whig or Democrat, as the case might 
be. Indeed, I am afraid some of them teased 
and bullied their little sisters into taking sides 

(5) 



6 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

too, though the day of woman's rights was 
far, far in the blissful future. 

Well, this state of things has passed away, 
in a measure. I do not think there is any 
catechising or much speech-making in our 
public schools now. There are a great many 
great men now, as everybody knows, but they 
are too busy to talk to school-boys, and, in 
fact, the boys are too busy to listen, what 
with all the lessons and recitations which are 
packed into one short day. Not every boy 
now thinks or even wishes to be President. 
Not that it has ceased to be a worthy ambi- 
tion — God forbid such a time should ever 
come. But the years open ever fuller and 
more varied opportunities for energy, ambi- 
tion, and influence. There are countless ways 
in which one may achieve greatness as the world 
esteems it, though if true greatness lies in 
goodness, then that is another question. 
There is only one narrow way to that. 

I am not a speech-maker, boys, but I would 
like to have a few quiet talks with you upon 
various topics, which may suggest themselves 
as we become acquainted. Not in your busy 
school hours, perhaps not even on the Sat- 
urday holidays, but say on Sunday afternoons. 

It is really a most interesting subject, What 



PREFATORY. 7 

life is to do for you, and what you are to do 
with life. If I should tell you to think of all the 
men now living in the world, and to remember 
that they were once lads no older than your- 
selves, you would say, " How very common- 
place "; but when you think that twenty-five, 
or thirty, or forty years from now the rulers 
of the world, the scientists, the scholars, the 
clergymen, the missionaries, the mechanics, 
the laborers, the rich men, the poor men, and, 
alas ! the criminals, and the drunkards, and the 
tramps, all will have grown out of the boys of 
to-day, it ceases to be commonplace. That 
brings it close home, does it not ? 

That makes each of you ask which you will be, 
with a shudder, too, at the possibilities. In truth, 
what you are to-day goes a long way toward 
what you will be then. Character is much like 
bricklaying — just one brick on another ; not a 
great monolith, but if every brick is a good one, 
well laid, and fitly joined, the structure grows 
compact and solid, and capable of resistance. 

I would like to talk with you, if you will let 
me, about some bricks in this character build- 
ing, some things which will determine your 
future ; and though these short talks can be 
suggestions only, if they lead you to think, 
they will fulfil their purpose. 



8 talks WITH BOYS, 

In listening to what is said to boys, I have 

noticed one word which is used more than 
any other. Everybody says " Don't " to a 
boy. " Don't do this," " Don't do that." 
Now if we face right about the other way, 
we shall find " Do," which I think much the 
pleasanter word. I may forget sometimes, 
but I shall try to say " Do." 

One thing more. I may as well confess to 
begin with that I am a woman. I should be 
sure to let out the secret sooner or later ; be- 
sides, I think you are manly enough, boys, to 
listen all the better for that. You may mark 
my word, too, the time will shortly be here 
when you will give all you are worth to have 
some one woman think well of you. Perhaps 
these talks will help you to get ready for that 
day. 



II. 

CITIZENSHIP. 

I SUPPOSE the proudest day in the life of 
an American boy is the day when he casts 
his first vote, and from that moment becomes 
a man. Without doubt, each of you dream 
of that time, and look forward eagerly to it, 
wishing the years would hasten. (Queer, isn't 
it, that young persons invariably want to grow 
older as fast as they can, while the old 
would like to be young again, if it were possi- 
ble, except those who are wise enough to 
wait for the land where " everlasting spring 
abides.") 

So I do not think I will need to explain 
the word which stands at the beginning of 
this talk ; you know what it means, though 
you may not yet take in all it contains in 
the way of privilege and protection. Away 
back in Bible times it stood Paul in good 
stead to be able to say that he was a free- 
born Roman citizen ; and in these modern 

(9) 



IO TALKS WITH BOYS. 

days the newspapers often give instances of 
English and American missionaries who fly- 
to the embassies for safety. Even the hea- 
then are learning that they cannot lay hands 
on such men when the strong powers of Eng- 
land and America are ready to avenge the 
wrong. 

Scattered over our broad country you will 
find thousands and thousands of people who 
have come from other lands. We read of the 
numbers who land on our shores every year, 
and if it were not for the proverb that " fig- 
ures cannot lie," we would not believe them. 
These foreigners are not yet citizens, as you 
all know ; they cannot be until they have 
lived in the country a certain number of years, 
and have been naturalized. Now, what is the 
difference? They must obey the laws just 
the same, they must suffer punishment if they 
break the laws, for " though every citizen is a 
subject, many subjects are not citizens/' A 
foreigner working in a field, in a fit of anger 
struck his fellow with a hoe. He said, u I 
thought it was a free country and I could do 
as I was a-mind to." He speedily found he 
couldn't. These men may earn money, they 
may grow rich, yet all the while they are ex- 
cluded from the especial benefits of citizen- 



CITIZENSHIP. II 

ship. Certain formalities and rules have been 
prescribed for that which must be complied 
with. 

Perhaps you wonder why I say this to you 
— to you boys who have but to grow up into 
all these rights. I do so because I would 
like you to think about another citizenship 
upon which you can enter long before you 
are twenty-one. Even the youngest of you 
may be a citizen now if you choose to take 
the obligations. I wish I needn't fear, but I 
do, that some of you are living as aliens in 
God's world, such a beautiful world it is, 
too. Just as a foreigner might live in our 
country and enjoy so many of its good things 
as to forget he had not the best, so I am 
afraid it is with you. God gives you so many 
good things it never occurs to you that you 
are missing the best. " He is kind toward 
the unthankful and evil." " He maketh His 
sun to rise on the evil and the good, and send- 
eth rain on the just and the unjust." That 
means that you live on and on here, having 
what we call the common blessings, quite the 
same as if you did the duties and took the 
obligations. It is not an unheard-of thing 
also for boys to fancy (and grown people, 
too, for that matter) that because they have 



12 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

not taken the obligations they arc released 
from them. Never was there a greater mis- 
take. Laws bind everybody, whether they 
have taken the oath of allegiance or not. It 
is poor reasoning which says, tl I may do this 
or that, I need not do this or that, because I 
am not a Christian." 

Boys, I am so anxious you should start 
right and be citizens at the beginning. You 
understand the figure, and know to whom 
your allegiance is due. You would never 
think of such a thing as putting off voting 
until you were twenty-four or five. No, in- 
deed ; the very first time you can you will 
march to the polls, with head up and proud 
step. 

Why not be as ready now to claim this other 
citizenship — to be a Christian ? 



III. 

THE BOOK. 

It is a very pleasant occupation to study 
the derivation of words ; it lets us into their 
deeper meaning. I presume some of you are 
learning Greek by this time ; but if you are 
not, you can take a large English dictionary 
and turn to the word Bible. You can trace 
it back to a Greek word which meant the 
inner bark of the papyrus. That was a certain 
flag which grew mostly in the valley of the 
Nile, and its inner bark was used as paper on 
which to write books. Thus the word came 
to mean a book, and from that, the Book. It 
makes all the difference whether you say a 
book or the Book. 

There was a man who had lived through 
what would seem to you a long life, and had 
written a great many books. When he was 
ill and death was very near, he called to his 
son-in-law : " Bring me the Book." " What 
book?" said the son-in-law. " There is but 

(13) 



14 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

one Book," answered the dying author. I re- 
peat this often-repeated story because it shows 
SO well how things look from certain points 
of view. All that man had read, all he had 
written, seemed not worth a thought then ; 
he wanted only what lay between the covers of 
one Book. I suppose, if he even caught sight 
of one such sentence as " Believe on the Lord 
Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved/' or " I 
go to prepare a place for you," it would sat- 
isfy him at such a time. 

But such things are difficult for you to re- 
alize now, full of life, and vigor, and spirits 
as you are ; and the very thing I do not want 
is, that you should think of the Bible only 
as a Book to die by. Unless people live by 
it, they are not very apt to die by it, I can 
assure you. 

The power of association is very great. I 
once knew an injudicious woman who pun- 
ished her children by making them read so 
many chapters, or learn so many verses. It 
was: " Here, John ; I'll see if you will disobey 
me again. You take your Bible and read four 
chapters." Or, " Harry, the next time you 
do that you'll have to learn twenty verses from 
the Acts ; so take care ! " It isn't much won- 
der if those boys hated the Bible. 



THE BOOK. 15 

A very different experience was mine not 
long ago. I was in a family where the mother 
teaches her children on Sunday afternoons, 
and she said to me : "You take them to-day, 
they will enjoy the change ; you need not fol- 
low our regular course, but take any subject 
or incidents you choose." So we had our 
Bibles and our hymn-books on a little table at 
one end of the pleasant drawing-room, and it 
occurred to me to ask them what they could tell 
about the children and young people of Sacred 
Story. Rather a long lesson for a half hour ; 
you see I had no idea they would know so much. 

But they went on about Ishmael, and Moses, 
and Joseph, and Samuel, and Daniel, and all 
the rest, what they did and what they said, in 
a way that was really delightful. I was so 
interested in the two bright boys that I forgot 
for the moment wee Annie, aged nine, who 
sat by my side, until she shyly put in : " Wasn't 
there a little girl who did something? Some- 
body carried her off, and she helped a great 
man who was sick; he was a — a — leper" (hes- 
itating on the word). Bless the child, I could 
have hugged her. So then we had the story 
of Naaman and the little Hebrew maid, and I 
thought, " There is something in the Bible for 
everybody." 



l6 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

Always remember that ; something for boys 
and girls; for old and young; for you and 
me ; something for every place in life. 

If you are not quite young men yet, you 
will be very soon, and in the Bible you will 
find a great many things said to young men, 
and about them. I remember in one place, 
some one asks a very serious question : "Where- 
withal shall a young man cleanse his way?" that 
is, make his life clean and keep it so ? What 
do you suppose is the answer? " By taking 
heed thereto according to Thy Word." If you 
read through the Psalm in which this question 
is asked and answered, you will learn much 
about this Word, and what it will do for a per- 
son. You will find it called by a variety of 
names: " Thy testimonies," " Thy law," "Thy 
precepts," " Thy statutes," " Thy command- 
ments." You will see that the writer loved 
this Word, that he rejoiced in it, and was 
always comforted, and helped, and guided by 
it. 

Is it not strange how little common sense 
is used in such a matter as this, even by those 
who pride themselves on it in other things? 
Here is a Book which will do for one, all this 
Psalm says; a Book which the civilized world 
concedes has the right to be called the Book, 



THE BOOK. 17 

yet many only read it occasionally, and some, 
I fear, not at all. 

Are any of my boys guilty of such neglect ? 
I hardly dare to put the question. How many 
will make a compact with me to read a chap- 
ter each day? If you will, I will. 



IV. 
MANLINESS. 

I WAS much amused this morning by over- 
hearing a stray remark on the training of boys. 
The speaker said he didn't think women were 
fitted for the work. " We don't want our 
boys to be 'Sissys'!" were his words. Well, 
I thought, here is a man who knows more 
than his Creator, for I had supposed mothers 
were instituted for that especial business. Now 
I can assure you, women admire true manli- 
ness above all things, and are pretty accurate 
judges of it, too. The world so recognizes 
this fact, that when a man is especially noble 
and good, it says, " He must have had a good 
mother." 

If we were really talking together, as I wish 
we were, and you could have your say, as I 
wish you could, I would like to put this ques- 
tion to each of you : What is manliness, or 
what is it to be manly? There is not much 
higher praise a boy can receive than to be told 
that he is manly. I suppose I should get a 

(IS) 



MANLINESS. IQ 

great many different answers to the question, 
according to your different notions, and though 
you may not know how, yet from those an- 
swers I should be able to make a fair estimate 
of your several characters. So you see in this 
one-sided way of talking you have the advan- 
tage. I cannot look into the individual you, 
as I would like to do. 

Sometimes a good way to define a quality 
is to tell what it is not, and it is an especially 
good way with such a quality as manliness, 
because many mistaken ideas of it prevail. 
For instance, it is not manly to swagger around 
and "talk big," to use coarse or profane words 
or slang. It is not manly for a big boy to 
oppress and take advantage of a little boy, or 
to snub his own little sister, and speak of her 
as " only a girl," or to be cruel to any ani- 
mal or living creature, simply because he is 
stronger and has the power. It is not manly 
to court the favor of rich boys, as such, and 
turn away from poor boys. It is not manly 
to speak in disrespectful terms of father and 
mother, or to laugh about religion and the 
Bible. It is not manly to take your own ease 
and comfort at the expense of others. How 
the list of " nots " grows, and these are only a 
few of them. 



20 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

Now, I have noticed boys somewhat, and I 
have seen them do every one of these " nots," 
and knew all the time that they thought they 
were doing manly things. Often I was sure 
they did them for the sole purpose of being 
manly, for the boys themselves were really 
good boys at heart, and didn't wish to be 
coarse, or rude, or cruel. You see they had 
mistaken ideas of what manliness is. It must 
be quite the opposite of these as far as they 
go. Indeed it is, and a great deal more. 

It is not so easy to take the other side and 
say what manliness is, because it branches out 
into everything which is noble in life. It is 
many-sided. One way you look at it, and 
you would call it courage; another way it 
would be generosity; another, magnanimity , 
another, kindness, and so on. Every one of 
these and kindred qualities go to make up the 
manly man, the kind of man each boy wants 
to grow up to be. 

Did you ever see such a man ? I dare say 
not — not one with every trait in perfection. 
Just one Perfect Man has ever walked this 
earth. The Bible says to come 4i unto the 
measure of the stature of the fulness of 
Christ, " is to be a perfect man. You know 
Saint Paul said he was trying for that he had 



MANLINESS. 21 

not attained ; but I suppose he kept on trying 
as long as he lived, and getting nearer it too. 
In fact, Paul is a good character for you to 
study. You will be surprised, perhaps, to see 
how his manliness constantly appears. Earnest 
as could be in everything he did, but once 
show him that he was in the wrong, and he 
turned right about ; courageous in every dan- 
ger, straightforward always, yet he could think 
about weak brothers, he could apologize most 
gracefully when he made a mistake ; he could 
be tender, and thoughtful, and sympathetic as 
a woman. 

I almost hear you say, " Does she think we 
could be like Paul ? " Indeed I do. Not like 
him as an inspired writer, of course I do not 
mean that ; but so far as growing up to true 
manliness is concerned. His character grew 
exactly as yours may, by looking at a Perfect 
Pattern and trying every day to copy it more 
closely. 

As we go on with these talks you will be 
interested, I think, to trace the connection 
between the various qualities you possess and 
this manly character, which it is the worthy 
ambition of each one of you to attain. 



V. 

NATURAL ADVANTAGES. 

You have all seen a foot race ; probably 
you have all been runners. There the boys 
stand, with trousers rolled up to the knees, 
and their toes on a line. " Three to make 
ready and four to Go! " and at the word off 
they do go like a shot. If they are honest 
boys not one makes a move forward until that 
word is given. That is what you call starting 
" fair and square, " or with equal opportuni- 
ties. But when you come to think of it, 
there is no such thing as starting fair and 
square, even in a foot race, because one boy 
has longer legs than another, and can get over 
the ground faster; one has better wind, and 
can hold out longer. You see they cannot 
possibly be equal. 

Well, it is much the same in the race which 
we call life. 

You might fancy ten boys born on the same 
day, in ten houses which look precisely alike, 
on the same street of a city, and their fathers 

(22) 



NATURAL ADVANTAGES. 23 

equal in wealth and position, yet those boys 
wouldn't make the same start in life : there 
would be influences and tendencies which 
would help on one boy and hinder another. 
Now, in actual life the diversities are much 
greater than these, and as I talk to you the 
fact is impressed upon me. 

In a Sunday-school I know of there is a 
class of girls, all bright and interesting, but 
divided, like the parable of the virgins, not 
exactly into five wise and five foolish, but into 
five rich girls and five poor girls. They sit on 
two benches, and never by any chance does a 
rich girl get mixed in with the poor girls. 
The teacher said to me, " What shall I do to 
break up this state of things ? " This inci- 
dent came into my mind as I was thinking 
what it was to talk with boys who have 
entered upon life, and will go through it, un- 
der such different conditions, and I said to 
myself, " My boys shall sit together on the 
same bench, provided we can get one long 
enough to hold some hundreds." I know the 
names, I have looked in the faces of only a 
few, but it takes no magic to say some of you 
have rich fathers, and some have poor ones, 
and some have none, because God has taken 
them ; some have healthy, robust bodies, and 



24 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

some have inherited illness and pain ; some 
have what they call " blue blood " in their 
veins, while others have only the ordinary red 
sort ; some can trace their ancestry through a 
long line of the good and virtuous, while to 
others, alas ! has descended the taint of drink 
or impurity, or even of crime. There is no 
question about this disparity. As you grow 
older you will hear a great deal concerning it. 
It will be made the excuse for much idleness, 
discontent, and yielding to temptation. Often 
and often persons will say, " This or that man 
didn't have half a chance." Now, boys, let 
us not be deceived by an error, because there 
is a grain of truth in it ; for every boy who 
reads these words will have the. chance to 
make his own life the best life for him, the 
life which God meant him to live. Please get 
this thought into your minds, that it is very 
easy to turn advantages into disadvantages, 
and it is not so very difficult to reverse the 
order, and turn disadvantages into advan- 
tages. 

If the boy who has a rich father becomes, 
in consequence, idle and proud, and a spend- 
thrift ; if the one who is strong and well grows 
reckless in sports and careless of health ; 
if he who has a quick mind and brilliant parts 



NATURAL ADVANTAGES. 25 

trusts to these instead of to persistent study, 
do not these advantages become disadvan- 
tages ? On the other hand — well, I can give 
you an extreme case. I know a lad. I sup- 
pose he must be fourteen years old now, 
though he is not larger than a child of seven ; 
his face only shows his age. Some accident 
of babyhood forever stunted him and distort- 
ed his shoulders. He will never be tall and 
straight, always deformed and unsightly. But 
he seems determined to succeed. Already he 
has his little shop, where he sells all kinds of 
small wares. I predict he will be a rich man, 
and that to him means success. His very 
disabilities seem to stimulate him. 

We know that illness often means increase 
of patience and sympathy ; poverty means 
hard work and energy and perseverance and 
economy. The loss of father may mean the 
support of mother, and this may develop self- 
denial, affection, and reverence — the best qual- 
ities of the heart. Even the heritage of spe- 
cial evil traits and tendencies should never 
bring discouragement. That may mean a 
development of self-control, a victory wrested 
from defeat, a finding of " grace to help in 
time of need." 

Diogenes was a cynic, and therefore apt to 



26 TALKS WITH H >V.\ 

snarl at life, yet he said, u No man is hurt but 
by himself," which seems to me a cheering 
statement. I am quite sure that, more often 
than we dream, the disadvantages are beheaded 
of their first syllable, and so metamorphosed. 
We read of an old-time race called the 
Handicap, where the horses carried various 
weights, according to their age and fleetness, 
that so the chances of winning might be more 
nearly equal. Perhaps, boys, it is so with you. 
You see the outward advantages and disad- 
vantages, but there may be an unseen handi- 
cap which hinders, or, perchance, mysteri- 
ously helps in the life race. I do not know. 
I only know that there is a prize of charac- 
ter which every boy should strive for, and, by 
God's grace, he who will may win. 



VI. 
OBEDIENCE. 

I BEG you will not turn away because the 
word obedience may be somewhat distaste- 
ful to you, or because you may think you 
know all about it. After we have talked a 
while I am sure you will say it is a pleasant 
word, and that it reaches a long way, too, 
into things of which you have never dreamed. 
To you now, it stands for something you ren- 
der or ought to render to your parents, guard- 
ians, or teachers, You know, as well as I 
do, there is nothing boys are more jealous 
about than obeying some one whom they 
think has no right to control them. 

I remember so well a little fellow of four 
years, who used to say when his auntie tried 
to enforce some rule, " This isn't your house, 
and you don't live here ! " with eyes that 
flashed the light of battle. This illustrates 
the spirit of the average boy — is it not so ? 
Not a spirit I shall find fault with either, 
only I wish I could be sure you are always 

(27) 



28 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

ready to obey those who have the right to 
control you. 

But to go back to the word. It is like a 
kaleidoscope : I need only to look into it to 
see so many words — these, for instance : hu- 
mility, self-control, trustfulness, authority, 
fidelity to man and God. All very good 
qualities, I am sure. Can you think out the 
connection, boys, or shall I tell you ? It is 
not far to seek. 

The one who obeys willingly owns that the 
judgment of another is better than his own 
— that gives him humility; he must curb or 
do violence to his own wishes — that is self- 
control ; he must believe in the wisdom and 
kindness which he cannot yet understand — 
that is trustfulness. By his own self-control 
he gets power to control others. I have often 
thought of the Centurion's description of 
himself: " I also am a man set under author- 
ity, having under myself soldiers "; that is, he 
obeyed first, and then others obeyed him. 
You may be sure no man is a good soldier un- 
til he has learned unquestioning obedience. 
It wouldn't be a very successful campaign in 
which each soldier did exactly as he thought 
best, without regard to his commanding offi- 
cer. 



OBEDIENCE. 29 

" Theirs not to make reply, 
Theirs not to reason why/' 

are immortal lines, because they hold immortal 
truth. Well, God grant you may never have 
to be soldiers of this sort ! I don't think you 
will, though I don't pretend to be a prophet. 
Doubtless, the mothers of the little fellows 
who became the " Boys in Blue" and the 
" Boys in Gray " didn't think so either. 

But you will grow up to be citizens — that 
we have talked about before — and I venture 
to say that the boy who obeys now cheer- 
fully is the one, other things being equal, to 
become the best citizen. An essential part 
of good citizenship is obedience to law ; so 
essential that most good men concede it is 
better to obey a bad law, even, as long as it 
is a law, than try to break it by individual ef- 
fort. Here is fidelity to man. 

Now let us take a long step beyond this. 
There is no such thing as fidelity to God without 
obedience ; no person leads a Christian life with- 
out it. When on earth, the Master always made 
that the test of love to Him. Over and over 
again, in many different forms, He put it, " If ye 
love me, ye will keep my commandments." 

I do not think I could say more to show 
you the importance of the habit. The family 



30 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

life would go to pieces without it ; every 
school would be in a state of insubordination ; 
there would be mutiny on every ship that 
floats; on land no such thing as law and or- 
der ; everywhere anarchy and terror ; and in 
the kingdom of God — why, we may say rev- 
erently, there would be no kingdom of God 
if the quality named obedience were stricken 
out of existence. 

Yet each boy's obedience or disobedience 
adds to or takes from the great sum total. 
Each boy helps to make the family life a unit, 
and the school-room a quiet, orderly place or 
the reverse. Each boy knows that even in 
his games he must mind certain rules or be 
accounted dishonorable. Each boy grows up 
to be a law-abiding man or the reverse ; each 
one builds up God's kingdom or he does not. 

I said we should find something pleasant 
in the word, and I think it is in Christ's test 
already mentioned. The essence of cheer- 
ful obedience is love — love to parents, love 
of right, love of country, love to God ; and 
he who obeys most readily in his young da; 
will be most likely to obey all along the line. 

Well might St. Paul write to Titus, " Put 
them in mind to be in subjection to rulers, to 
authorities, to be obedient." 



VII. 
HABIT. 

Not habits exactly, but habit. You are 
accustomed to hear much of the former word. 
Everybody says, " Such a man has bad hab- 
its," meaning that he drinks, or swears, or 
profanes the Lord's Day. " Such a man has 
good habits," meaning the reverse of the 
other. 

Habit is something persisted in. It is the 
tendency we have to do a thing the second 
time because we have done it the first ; the 
third time because of the second, until, as 
says the proverb, " Habit becomes a second 
nature," the silken thread has grown to a 
cable which we cannot break. 

If you come to think of it, this applies to 
things important and unimportant, if any- 
thing in life may be called that. I know a 
man who on Sundays and week-night prayer- 
meetings walks up the aisle in a little, old- 
fashioned country church. The seats are ar- 
ranged so that he faces the audience in com- 

(31) 



32 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

ing in. When about half way up the aisle he 
always begins to finger a ring which he wears 
on the left hand. I have watched him many 
times, and never knew him to fail. Now I 
think that began in a feeling of shyness, but 
he is no longer shy. The action is entirely 
unconscious, it has become habitual. 

One summer I used to notice a minister 
who often passed my window — a tall, digni- 
fied-looking man without his hat, but he in- 
variably set that hat on his head tilted just a 
little, in a somewhat rakish manner. Perhaps 
it was foolish, but I sometimes thought I 
might like to hear him preach if he would 
only wear his hat upright. 

I know another minister who has hard work 
to preach without putting his hands in his 
pockets. Every now and then a hand slips 
in without his thinking, and he snatches it 
out hurriedly. I suppose as a boy he must 
have carried his hands in his pockets a great 
deal. You have seen people who sit on the 
edge of chairs, who twirl their fingers, who 
never keep still all over — ways continued long 
after the shyness and nervousness which 
caused them have passed away. 

This shows that habit can touch very small 
things, and those which have no moral qual- 



HABIT. 33 

ity. There can be a habit in the way each one 
walks the streets or wears his clothes, and let 
me say here that you can be nice and particu- 
lar about such things without the slightest 
danger of growing up a "dude." 

The great things of life result from little 
things more often than we think. " From 
little oft repeated much will rise." What 
you do to-day is the added-up account of the 
little words and ways of all the yesterdays. 
That is an old story of the merchant who 
dismissed a boy who applied for work. As 
the lad went out, he stooped and picked up a 
pin. The shrewd merchant called him back 
and employed him. " He will be careful and 
economical/' he said. " Phew ! " you say, 
" anybody can pick up a pin." Surely, but 
not everybody does. You may be fairly cer- 
tain he had done it before, if he did it when 
under the stress of disappointment. I know ed- 
ucated men who always say " year " instead of 
" years." " I was fifty year old on such a 
day." If you were to ask them, they would 
admit the mistake ; they know better, but 
you see they have made that mistake all the 
way up from boyhood, and do not think of it 
now unless reminded. 

You will catch my thought. I did not wish 



34 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

to talk this time about great habits, but 
rather of the tendency to repetition in what 
may seem of little moment. It will please me 
if you make an application of my words. You 
can think of illustration after illustration ; but 
pray do not look for them entirely among 
your neighbors. Watch yourselves a while. 
Ask yourselves, each, " What have I done to- 
day, which, if done to-morrow, and to-morrow, 
and to-morrow, will make me grow up to be 
disagreeable, untidy, discourteous, unreliable, 
tardy?" not to mention the names of all M the 
little foxes that spoil the vines." Ask also 
what little ways you have, which, repeated 
and repeated, will become a second nature of 
truth and courtesy and neatness, and all de- 
sirable traits. Look as fairly and squarely at 
yourselves as if you were " that other boy." 

If I mistake not, you will find much to cor- 
rect, but I think, too, you will find some 
things to encourage. Remember that high 
motive dignifies small endeavor; you must 
climb the little hills to reach the mountain's 
top. u Sow an act, and you reap a habit ; 
sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a 
character, and you reap a destiny." 



VIII. 
CONCERNING A MEDAL. 

There is a school (I wish I could say it is 
in our country, but it is not) where a prize 
is given which is so unique, it seems well 
worth while to tell you about it. It is a 
school for boys who are over twelve years 
of age. The prize is a large bronze medal, 
considerably larger than our silver dollar. 
On one side it bears the inscription, " To en- 
courage a steady perseverance in Industry, 
Courtesy, and Integrity. ,, On the other side 
are represented three scenes, all taken from 
classic story, which illustrate these three qual- 
ities. 

Here is the figure of Demosthenes standing 
on the sea-shore declaiming to the wild waves, 
which try to drown his weak, hesitating voice. 
Morning by morning (so history tells us), re- 
pairing to that lonely spot, talking with a peb- 
ble in his mouth, shouting above the noise of 
the waters, till lungs grew strong and full, and 
words no longer tripped and fell, but rolled 

(35) 



36 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

smoothly on, and he became the orator whose 
fame has lasted for centuries. That is Indus- 
try. 

On the upper half of the medal is a scene 
in the theatre at Athens, during the acting 
of a play. The great room is crowded, the 
Athenians occupying one side and the Spar- 
tans the other, every seat apparently taken. 
In walks an old, old man, a stranger and poor 
in apparel, looking vainly for a place. At 
first the Athenians pretend to make room for 
him, but as he turns to them they sit the 
closer, and jeer and sneer at his embarrass- 
ment. You must understand that the Athe- 
nians pretended to great politeness and polish 
of manner. Then the Spartans rose as one 
man, bowing low to the aged stranger, and 
welcomed him with beckoning hands to the 
best seat among themselves. Just this the 
picture tells. This is Courtesy ; the real cour- 
tesy which comes from true, good hearts. The 
story goes on to say that the Athenians could 
not help applauding the kind act, whereupon 
the stranger arose and said : " The Athenians 
know what is right, but the Spartans prac- 
tice it." 

The third scene shows a prison in which 
stand a group of sorrowing friends. The only 



CONCERNING A MEDAL. 37 

cheerful face in the gloomy room is that of 
a man who, with serene and steadfast eye, 
takes a cup from the weeping jailer, and pre- 
pares to drink. That man is Socrates, and 
the cup which he receives as if it were a 
draught of life, holds the poisonous hemlock. 
He will not escape from prison, though the way 
is open ; he will not deny his opinions. I dare 
say every boy of you knows the story. That is 
Integrity. So this medal symbolizes these 
three qualities — industry, courtesy, and integ- 
rity ; and for fifty years — first in England, then 
in Canada— it has stimulated boys to excel- 
lence in them. Is not its story worth the 
telling, and might not any school be proud to 
give such a prize, and any boy in any land be 
more than proud to receive it? 

One day a mother whom I know put one of 
these medals into my hands to examine, and 
she said her son had won it. I can assure you 
she was a proud and happy mother, as she 
had a right to be. I told her truthfully I 
would rather he should have that prize than 
any other, though given for any scholarship 
or attainment whatever, because it meant 
character. I knew the son too, and for a few 
weeks of one summer I observed him some- 
what carefully. He has reached manhood now, 



38 talks WITH BOYS. 

and I don't think he will ever see these w r ords. 
It was during a summer vacation when one 
might rightfully be idle. I could only judge of 
his industry by the evident good use of previous 
time which appeared in what lie said ; nor of 
his integrity, except by a certain genuine ring 
as of true metal in every word and act. But 
his courtesy was something good to see, and 
to experience too, in a land where I am sure 
there is not too much among boys. 

So I have always remembered that medal, 
and though this is a rather long preface, yet 
it is a preface to three talks I wish to have with 
you, on industry, courtesy, and integrity. 



IX. 
INDUSTRY. 

I DO not think that most people naturally- 
like to work. Working is what we call an ac- 
quired taste. When the first hard work was 
imposed upon man, away back in the Garden 
of Eden, it was as the result of a curse. No 
longer might it be his daily pleasure to dress 
the beautiful garden and keep it, but " In the 
sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread." Yet 
hidden in the very curse for Adam as for Eve, 
was the mercy of our Heavenly Father, for 
without work a fallen man would inevitably 
fall lower still. 

There are two homely old proverbs which 
hold a deal of truth : " Satan finds some mis- 
chief still for idle hands to do "; and " An idle 
brain is the devil's workshop." These prov- 
erbs touch upon the two kinds of idleness, and 
suggest as their reverse the two kinds of work. 
Because, if you sift it, all work may be con- 
sidered as either physical or mental, though 
one or the other may predominate in a life. 

(39) 



40 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

But industry means to mc something more 
than work; that is to say, you may work 
without being industrious; you maybe driven 
to it ; you may have a spasm of work ; that is 
not exactly industry, however. To have a 
habit of employment, to do every day the 
work which ought to be done in that day, is 
industry. 

What ! no play ? Yes, plenty of play. I 
said the work which ought to be done ; that 
will give plenty of time for play, and added 
zest for it, too. Industry seems to me, also, 
to be putting the heart into the work. You 
wouldn't quite call an unwilling slave indus- 
trious, even though he toil every moment in 
the day. In the Proverbs it says: u He that 
is slothful in his work is brother to him that 
is a great waster." You wouldn't wish to be- 
long to such a brotherhood as that ? 

Industry means perseverance, too — the qual- 
ity of keeping at it. I know with what open- 
eyed wonder you look at successful men ; 
they must have been " born to the purple/' 
you think. But some one says : M Oh ! that 
is Demosthenes. I knew him when he was a 
boy — he stammered terribly. It took him 
years to get over it." Or, " I heard Disraeli 
the first time he tried to speak in Parliament. 



INDUSTRY. 41 

They laughed him down. But he said he had 
tried to do many things, and had always suc- 
ceeded at last." " The time will come when 
they shall listen to me." All the world knows 
that time did come. 

Most rich men of to-day began life in pov- 
erty. The record of any invention, any sci- 
entific research, is a record of industry often 
unrewarded for long months or years, but 
patiently continued till success was reached. 
My boys, the words must be said over and 
over, " There is no royal road." Like the 
Cantilevers, you must build your bridge as 
you cross the chasm. 

There is no magic about success in any call- 
ing whatever. It is a curious fact that hand- 
workers are apt to believe quite the contrary 
of brain-workers. They think it must be so 
easy ; anybody might write sermons, anybody 
might make books. Listen to Charles Dick- 
ens, who certainly made books, many and 
good enough to give him the right to speak. 
" My imagination would never have served 
me as it has, but for the habit of common- 
place, humble, patient, daily, toiling, drudging 
attention." In all you could say about hand- 
work, you couldn't put in a string of more 
lowly adjectives than those. They suggest 



42 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

another thought : it is wise not to trust too 
much to natural gifts, If they bring the temp- 
tation to idleness they will ensure failure. 

Yes, boys, work we must if we are to be 
good for anything. I knew one young man 
in college who took the valedictory, as his 
friends said, " Because he couldn't help it," 
but he did no great things afterward. In the 
next class the highest honor was won by 
faithful effort, and if I should pronounce the 
name of the winner, you would know it as that 
of a foremost scholar in our land. 

There are rewards which you may not think 
of now, because they are intangible — rewards 
of increased strength and skill, of growing 
powers, of minds expanding. If you and I 
knew everything there is to know to-day, to- 
morrow we should be ignorant. We are still 
picking up pebbles on the shore of the great 
ocean. Day by day God unfolds new wonders 
to those who work for them. 

Let us remember always that industry — the 
habit of being employed, the " second nature" 
of being employed — will make us kings of 
work and not its slaves. 



X. 

COURTESY. 

I DO not intend to apologize for any of the 
subjects of these talks, because there will not 
be one that it is not worth while to talk about. 
At the same time, had it not been for the 
story of the medal, I am sure some boys would 
consider this subject of courtesy quite unsuit- 
able for them. They would throw down the 
paper and say : " That is for girls ! " They 
are the boys who, for some unaccountable 
reason, think it isn't manly to be polite, or 
have thought so. Now that they know about 
the medal, they will change their minds. 

Spenser had an idea that courtesy went with 
gentle blood, for he said : 

" Of court it seems, men ' courtesy ' do call, 
For that it there most useth to abound. " 

We can go back to a much older and higher 
authority, however, and find the command 
laid upon all, whether of high or low degree, 
" Be courteous." Indeed, I believe the root 

(43) 



44 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

of good breeding is in the Golden Rule, and 
more of it than most of us practice lies in the 
thirteenth chapter of 1st Corinthians. Of 
course there are men who think truth must 
be bluntness, and sincerity must be rudeness ; 
that a pill isn't a pill, even, if it happens to be 
sugar-coated ! 

Do not be deceived. I wish you may re- 
ceive into your hearts the truth that real cour- 
tesy is not inconsistent with a kind sincerity. 
The gentle nature shows itself in the gentle 
man. I believe a true gentleman might go 
anywhere in the world, and never be mistaken 
for anything else, though he might be utterly 
ignorant of the varying customs. " Ceremo- 
nies are different in every country, but true 
politeness is everywhere the same," so Gold- 
smith expresses it; and there is an old nurs- 
ery rhyme which runs: 

" Politeness is to do and say 
The kindest things in the kindest way." 

Not long ago I made a visit of some weeks 
at a friend's house. While there I took a 
cold, and there came a day or two when I 
could not read, nor could I speak aloud, so 
conversation was impossible. Shall I soon 
forget one evening wheh Aleck brought his 



COURTESY. 45 

pile of picture-books to my side, and for an 
hour or more turned the leaves patiently, and 
told me the story of every picture ? He was 
not a bookish boy, by any means. He liked 
active sports much better, but he did his " kind- 
est thing in the kindest way." 

Please notice also that nearly all the acts 
of courtesy which we are apt to consider cer- 
emonious, and therefore meaningless, can be 
traced to some kindly effort, to some unself- 
ish attention shown to another. 

I know there are good men, learned men, 
who persistently ignore the smaller courtesies, 
and excuse themselves on the ground of high 
occupation. They say, " I cannot remember 
to lift my hat to a lady, or to rise and open a 
door for her, or place a chair, or always ac- 
knowledge a favor promptly. My thoughts 
are full of such or such a subject." Well, I 
suppose such men wash their faces every morn- 
ing without giving much thought to it ! 

Others there are who do offer these and simi- 
lar attentions, but with such a fuss and appear- 
ance of trying as to destroy all their charm. 
These two extremes bring the lesson I would 
have you heed — the lesson of a habit of cour- 
tesy. The best breeding does all kind acts, ren- 
ders all polite attentions, spontaneously but 



46 TALKS WITH I)< >YS. 

quietly, as if they cost no thought — as naturally 
as breathing ; and this can come only from the 

constant daily repetition of such courtesies, as 
opportunities occur, until it would be far more 
difficult to omit than to perform them. The 
boy must begin as a boy, if he wishes, when a 

man, to bear 

" Without abuse 
The grand old name of gentleman.'" 

Let us not forget also that to " do the kind- 
est thing in the kindest way " will affect our 
manner toward those who are poorer, or in a 
lower position, or in any way less fortunate 
than we. Ah ! what rare delicacy it requires 
then, not to put on airs, not to seem superior, 
not to condescend in our politeness. 

There is a very serious side to this subject. 
The outward act reacts upon the inner self. 
He who thinks manners are of no consequence, 
and persists in being careless or rude, runs 
great risk of growing coarse in spirit. There 
is also much to consider in the real good to 
others, as well as the pleasure we afford them, 
by the regard we pay to the amenities of life. 
The great question of influence comes in here, 
and so you see responsibility attaches itself to 
what we sometimes call trivial things. 

My boys, be courteous through and through, 



COURTESY. 47 

and do not forget the exhibition of it. You 
know a coxcomb is one who only affects to be a 
gentleman, but you want to be real gentlemen. 
Remember what Tennyson said of his friend : 

" For who can always act ? but he 

To whom a thousand memories call, 
Not being less, but more than all 
The gentleness he seemed to be, 

u Best seemed the thing he was, and joined 
Each office of the social hour 
To noble manners, as the flower 
And native growth of noble mind." 



XL 
INTEGRITY. 

SUPPOSE for a moment we revive the old 
custom of school visiting, and I question the 
class in arithmetic. Quite a large class, isn't 
it ? " What is an integer ? " The answer 
comes back in a concert of voices : " An in- 
teger is a whole number." Right. It is not 
a fraction, nor a number and a fraction, but a 
whole number. If you go back a little and 
pick the word to pieces, you will find it means, 
Not touched, not broken. It is curious and 
interesting to notice how many words have 
started out in a purely physical sense, and 
have grown to represent qualities of mind and 
heart. 

So with this. Developed yet more, and it 
becomes Integrity, and still it carries with it 
the same thought of wholeness ; only now it 
applies not to things nor to numbers usually, 
but to men. The man who has integrity is 
a whole man. And we may as well say the 
boy who has integrity is a whole boy, because, 
(48) 



INTEGRITY. 49 

if you think of it, a number may be an in- 
teger even though it be a very small number. 
It will not be necessary for you to wait to be 
men before you have integrity. Indeed, if 
you do wait, I doubt if you will have it then. 

We are apt to get confused in our ideas of 
wholeness. It does not mean bigness at all. 
A little apple which is sound is as really a 
whole apple as a big one. 

It is not best to push a comparison too far, 
yet I wish to say that though integrity is 
wholeness, it is made up of parts. You could 
say that eight eighths added make a whole 
number. Just as well you can say that one-, 
fourth and four-sixteenths and four-eighths 
added make a whole number. Do you catch 
the thought ? Integrity is virtue ; it is also 
the sum of many virtues. The man who has 
it is to be trusted at every point. If you 
could run a pin through his character as you 
can through an apple, you would find it every- 
where sound. The whole trend of his life is 
toward what is pure and true. There is no 
prouder title any man can gain in the business 
world than to say he is a man of integrity. 

I would like to tell you, boys, that there is 
another word which also carries in it this idea 
of wholeness. That word is Holiness. If I 



50 talks WITH BOYS. 

were to distinguish between the two, I should 
say integrity was the wholeness of man toward 
man, and holiness was the wholeness of man 
toward God. As the greater includes the less, 
you will get them both by having the latter. 
Indeed, I think it would be difficult to have 
the former in any complete way without the 
latter. The Bible says : M And what doth the 
Lord require of thee but to do justly, and to 
love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy 
God ? " That says it all, doesn't it ? That is 
wholeness toward man and toward God ; and 
if, as sometimes happens, one professes to 
walk humbly with God, yet does not justly, 
and loves not mercy, be sure that person is 
in some degree deceiving or deceived. The 
true integrity is wanting. 

Even Socrates, whom you saw pictured as 
preferring death rather than a life purchased 
by dishonor; Socrates, born centuries before 
our Lord came, prayed thus to the only gods 
he knew : " Give me beauty in the inward 
soul, and may the outward and the inward 
man be one." He was so truly whole, ac- 
cording to the light he had, that he has been 
styled a M seeker after God," and men have 
deemed him one to whom St. Peter's words 
might apply : " In every nation he that fear- 



INTEGRITY. 5 1 

eth Him, and worketh righteousness, is ac- 
cepted with Him." 

Is not such a character worth having ? To 
be a boy who can be depended upon for right 
doing ; to have other boys say, " You can 
count on him every time, he will do as he 
agrees "; never to do a sneaking, underhanded, 
dishonorable act ; to be all your life not a 
fraction but an integer ; to be able to say, if 
the occasion demands, " It is not necessary for 
me to live, but it is necessary for me to do 
right " — ah, that is grand ! 

Boys, who will strive for the medal ? Who 
will win the three-fold prize ? 



XII. 
THE HOME. 

I DO not like to go on further with these 
talks without saying something as to your 
lives at home. You may think it strange that 
I did not begin with that, but you know we 
do not cordially ask one who is an entire 
stranger into our own homes. We like to 
know a little about him first. Therefore I was 
reluctant to force an entrance, choosing to 
wait till a few weeks of outside converse 
should make us somewhat acquainted. I am 
sure, too, that you will be more apt now to 
see how the different subjects we have talked 
about touch on the home life, and to apply 
those we may talk about hereafter. 

It has come to be almost a proverb that if 
you would know what a man really is, you 
must know what he is in his own home. Be- 
cause it is unfortunately true that many a one 
who appears all kindness and courtesy outside, 
within the sacred precincts proves to be cross 
and churlish. The saying applies to the boy 
as truly. 

(52) 



THE HOME. 53 

Ah ! if I could look into your homes. I 
know how varied they are ; small cottages and 
stately mansions, farm-houses and brownstone 
fronts, a suite or one room, I care not. Each 
is the place some boy of mine calls home, and 
if I could see him there, how much I should 
know about him. 

Suppose I could see how you sit at table, 
how you eat, how you answer your mother, 
how you treat your sister, whether you hang 
up your coat or throw it down, whether you 
wait respectfully for a chance to speak, or 
must be continually suppressed (it is not to 
be denied that an American boy usually has 
an opinion on all subjects), whether you are 
modest or self-asserting, whether you keep 
your dress and hands neat or are untidy, 
whether you are quick and thoughtful to give 
help in little ways, or the reverse ; all these 
and many more "whethers," if I could see, 
would make me know you pretty well. But 
you must remember that just such things as 
these are seen and noticed by those who come 
to your homes, and " company manners " are 
easily detected. Yet that is not the highest 
motive, what others will think of you. It is a 
high motive, for we should never be indiffer- 
ent to their opinion. (Sir Matthew Hale, I 



54 TALKS WITH BOYS, 

think it was, said: "That young man is not 
far from ruin who can say truthfully, l I don't 
care what others think of me.' ") It is higher 
still to wish to be through and through what 
we would like to have them think we are, and 
highest of all to be and do, because certain 
things are right to be and do. 

Perhaps because I am a woman I feel an 
especial interest in your deportment toward 
your mothers and sisters ; but indeed apart 
from any personal interest, that is a most im- 
portant element in the formation of honora- 
ble character. You have read about the old 
days of chivalry, when the knights swore to 
respect and do homage to womankind. They 
said then, that he who was true to his knightly 
duty would have every virtue, for that was the 
root of all ; he must of necessity be brave, 
and faithful, and pure. We know there was 
much that was sentimental, and not true sen- 
timent in this, yet I believe there was an un- 
derlying truth. I like to have a boy grow up 
with a kind of knightly feeling toward all 
women, and it is a good thing for him to be- 
gin with his mother and sisters. 

Therefore do not be sparing of the little 
attentions which you would be quick to show 
to others. It is good to see a boy just as care- 



THE HOME. 55 

ful and thoughtful for his own sister as if she 
was some other boy's sister. Always remem- 
ber that it is your place to stand up for her and 
protect her, and show your manliness for her. 
And I do say, chivalry or no chivalry, the lad is 
not likely to go very far astray who habitually 
and heartily does tender and loving service to 
those nearest, home friends. Let us never for- 
get that Christ in the midst of His suffering kept 
His sorrowing mother in mind, and provided 
for her future comfort, leaving us an example. 

I cannot help thinking about the years to 
come ; how you will grow out of these homes 
and into other homes, where you will sit at 
the head of the table and be "the man of 
the house." The boy is the man in miniature. 
He who is patient, good-natured, and helpful 
now, will hardly be irritable and exacting then ; 
he who honors his mother now, will trust and 
honor his wife then ; he who is neat in all his 
personal habits now, will not then become an 
object of aversion ; and surely he who now in his 
own room daily kneels in prayer, will not neg- 
lect then to commend his own home to God. 

But for those other boys who think it doesn't 
matter what they do or say or how they be- 
have, because they are at home and " it's only 
our folks," I am troubled about them. 



XIII. 
MUSCLE. 

Some persons are always railing against 
fashions, as if there could never be a good 
one. Nowadays it is the fashion to be strong, 
and surely that is good. Even girls no long- 
er consider it " the thing M to be weak and 
delicate and complaining. They are proud 
of being good walkers and tennis players. 
We are following more and more the ex- 
ample of our English relatives in the matter 
of outdoor sports, and this is wise. Do not 
let us be deterred in that or any right thing 
by the fear that some one will raise the cry of 
u Anglomania ! " Let us have the games and 
win the robust health, and give our " u M the 
right sound, and speak the language always 
as well as we can, even though it should be 
said we are imitating them. 

If I was preaching a sermon you might say I 
was wandering from the text, but a talker has 
the privilege of being a little desultory, of 
leaping from one subject to another, provided 
another comes in sight. 
(56) 



MUSCLE. 57 

I suppose every boy of you has sometime 
bared his arm and said proudly, " Feel my 
muscle," and perhaps has looked a little 
contemptuously on the other boy, whose arm 
is small and flabby, and not a bit like whip- 
cord. Yet that boy has just as many muscles 
as you have, the only difference being that he 
has not so much muscle. That sounds like 
a contradiction, but it isn't, for we are told 
muscles do not increase in number; every 
boy starts with and keeps the same number, 
but the bulk of their fibres increases — that is, 
the muscles themselves grow large and firm. 
So that it comes to be a question of food and 
exercise and general health, whether you have 
what you call " muscle " or not. 

Now I think of all temporal good things I 
should say health is the best ; so I hope you 
will play games, and row, and leap, and jump, 
and ride bicycles if you have them, all at 
proper times and places and within reasonable 
limits, to your heart's content. Francis Power 
Cobbe says : " I conceive that good and even 
high animal spirits are among the most bless- 
ed of possessions — actual wings to bear us 
up over the dusty or muddy roads of life." 
There is no special virtue in moping, though 
some people seem to think there is. 



58 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

But we have a three-fold nature, and you 
are not training to be prize-fighters. You 

are not bringing all the powers of mind and 
soul into subjection to the art of knocking a 
man down. In fact, if one of the three must 
go to the wall, I believe most of you would 
say, "Give me vigor of mind and soul, and let 
the muscle go." That is really what many 
students do say, forgetting the proverb that it 
must be Mens sana in corporc sano> " A sound 
mind in a sound body/' 

Mr. Moody has expressed the pleasure it 
gives him at his summer school to see the 
young men go into all the sports and vigorous 
outdoor pastimes. The same young men are 
found at other hours in the day listening to 
lectures, gathering information about all the 
lands of the earth, and at still other hours 
kneeling together in fervent prayer. Already 
these young men, not yet through their col- 
lege days, are wielding a power which shall 
be felt throughout the world. They are forc- 
ing hands into pockets — hands that have been 
long unwilling to go there on this particular 
errand; they are touching stiff fingers and 
causing them to relax the hold on money. If 
men hadn't proved over and over again that 
the day of miracles is past, we should call 



MUSCLE. 59 

it nothing short of miraculous. To them 
might St. John's words apply: " I have writ- 
ten to you, young men, because ye are strong," 

If you turn to the ninth chapter of 1st Corin- 
thians and read the closing verses, I think 
you will say St. Paul knew something about 
this matter. He talks as if he was familiar 
with racing and fighting, but do not forget to 
notice how he applies the figure. 

All along the years, as the needs of lan- 
guage grow, we have already noticed that 
words are given a larger meaning. Perhaps 
because things mental and spiritual are intan- 
gible, untouchable, we try to grasp them by 
names of physical import. Everywhere now 
muscle stands for strength. The " man of 
muscle " is another name for the strong man. 

Therefore remember, boys, when you glory 
in your strength, there is a " muscle," so to 
speak, of mind and soul ; and if in days to 
come you would give telling blows for the 
right, that muscle must be developed by rig- 
orous training now. 



XIV. 

SELF-CONTROL. 

FROM childhood up there has been some- 
thing inspiring to me in the sight of a team 
of four horses, and to be whirled on by them 
was a curious mixture of terror and exaltation. 
Who does not like to watch the driver, 
whether he sits on the high seat of a country 
picnic wagon, or mounts the elegant four-in- 
hand coach? What a watchful eye, what a 
grasp he has on the reins ; not a prance of the 
sixteen feet, not a pricking of the eight ears, 
not a turn of the four heads escapes him. 
He knows which one will shy on the slightest 
provocation, which one will be ready to start 
off if a team comes up behind. The reins are 
slender but strong; he keeps them well in 
hand, and because he keeps them well in hand 
the coach whirls on in safety. I dare say you 
have all envied him. 

You will not be at a loss to understand the 
figure, if I say you are each driving a four-in- 
hand. If I should go still further I think I 
(60) 



SELF-CONTROL. 6 1 

would name your steeds : Thought, Affection, 
Appetite, and Passion ; and when you have 
learned to manage them in all their different 
exercises, you have learned self-control. 

Or I might use another figure, and say each 
of you is a king in his own right, having a 
kingdom full of subjects wide awake, and 
often turbulent, who must be constantly re- 
strained if order and right-doing shall prevail 
in the realm. This kingdom we call " Self," 
and to rule it well is to have self-control. 

We are all fond of power, but I can tell you 
the power over one's own self is the mightiest 
human power in the world. It is much more 
interesting to see a boy or a man subdue him- 
self than to watch any control of mere animals. 

I remember a boy whom I used to study. 
He had a quick, fiery spirit, which started up 
in anger on very slight incitement, indeed it 
was almost vicious. But he had been taught 
that wouldn't do, and his efforts at self-control 
were, to say the least, unique. I have seen 
him as a little fellow dash out of the house in 
a rage, run around it two or three times, and 
come in with a smiling face. It was his own 
remedy, administered in his own way ; but, 
as time has gone on, he has had himself more 
and more in hand, until now only a little 



62 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

trembling of the lips, and then a firm com- 
pression, show that he is moved. That boy- 
is destined to be a strong man. 

This is the phase of self-control which pre- 
sents itself most vividly to you now; the 
quick, hot spirit of youth, the fight which is 
in most boys, is what you recognize now as 
needing restraint. The longer you live the 
more you will see that it must lay its hand on 
every part of your lives. Self-control in eat- 
ing and drinking keeps you from becoming 
gluttons and drunkards; that you can under- 
stand. But you do not know, and God for- 
bid you should ever realize, the possibilities of 
evil which lie in every life. There are risks in 
thinking, risks in every affection, in every pas- 
sion, in every appetite, which can only be 
avoided by this stern self-rule. 

You can turn to the Book to find the esti- 
mate there put upon it. Over and over again 
in the Proverbs it is expressed in various ways. 
" He that is slow to anger is better than the 
mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he 
that taketh a city." And St. James says : " Let 
every man be ... . slow to speak, slow to 
wrath/' St. Paul says : " I keep under my 
body, and bring it into subjection." I wish you 
would try to find out all there is in the Bible 



SELF-CONTROL. 63 

which touches on the subject ; I am sure the 
number of texts will surprise you. 

There is one text, however, which brings 
great help and comfort. If you look in the mar- 
gin of the Revised New Testament, at Galatians 
v. 23, you will see that self-control is a fruit of 
the Spirit. At the end of the list, last but by 
no means least, stands the word temperance, 
and in the margin it is self-control, which I sup- 
pose is what the word really meant at the time 
it was used there ; although temperance has 
so long expressed one idea that now it means 
to you not itself even, but total abstinence. 

To one who knows how difficult is this 
mastery over self in all the multiplied forms 
in which it must be accomplished, it is good 
to be told that there is an all-powerful ally in 
the Spirit of God, and to be assured the Spirit 
is promised to those who ask it. 

It will be of little use to talk of this, if we 
do not practice it. Let us begin to-day this 
self-control, knowing that it is to be a lifelong 
work, but knowing also that it will grow easier 
as we go along, and as we become " strong in 
the Lord, and in the strength of His might." 

"Who is free? He who masters his own 
self. Who is powerful? He who can control 
his passions." 



XV. 
SELF-FORGETTING. 

TRUTH is many-sided. If I should describe 
the house in which I am sitting from the 
front, it would seem a very different house 
from the one you might describe from the 
rear, and yet the house is the same. So if I 
ask you to do what seems the opposite of my 
former advice, you are not to jump at any 
conclusions, though I did say then " Watch 
yourselves/' and I do say now " Forget your- 
selves." Simply two ways of dealing with the 
11 Ego," which are not contrary, but quite 
harmonious. Indeed I might go so far as to 
assert that he who keeps control of self, will 
be most likely to forget self. 

Did you ever try to forget a thing and have 
it stay most persistently in your thoughts, 
seemingly because you did try? Perhaps you 
are not old enough for that experience yet, 
but it requires a firm exercise of will to turn 
the thoughts elsewhere. 

Now I think the hardest thing in the world 
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SELF-FORGETTING. 6$ 

to forget is self. You try it for a day, and 
see if you don't find it so. I know of but one 
remedy, and that is to remember others. If 
you look at it, in all this world there are only 
yourself and other people ; yourself — one ; 
other people — well, something over a thou- 
sand millions, I suppose. It seems fairly ab- 
surd to spend one's thoughts on the one and 
forget the millions, yet that is the way some 
people appear to live. You know if you hold 
a cent close to the eye it will obscure the 
sun, and there have been persons known to 
do that. 

Self-forgetting is only another name for 
unselfishness. Now I would not be unjust to 
you, but honestly, isn't selfishness quite a 
prominent characteristic of a boy? I may 
mistake, but it does seem to me as a rule that 
girls are more apt to deny themselves for 
others than boys are. Not because they are 
naturally better, but certain facts in their 
usual training and circumstances make them 
more thoughtful and considerate. 

Indeed, a writer already quoted in these 
talks says in regard to some mistakes in the 
home training: "The unselfishness of the sis- 
ters and the fondness of the mother for her 
boy, and the fact that the boy is rarely at 



66 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

home, all contribute to a habit of sacrificing 
everything to the young lad's pleasure or 
profit, which has the worst effect on his char- 
acter in after-life. Boys receive from women 
themselves in the nursery, and when they 
come home from school in the holidays, a reg- 
ular education in selfishness." 

That is forcibly put, but I fear it has much 
truth in it, and I repeat it to you, boys, that 
you may notice and correct any such tendency. 
Just see how many times this week the mother 
and sister deny themselves in little ways and 
attentions, which you receive with such a lordly 
manner, and without the slightest notion that 
anybody is put out for your sake. I am will- 
ing to believe the fault is thoughtlessness, and 
the way to correct that is to be thoughtful. 
Thoughtful for the mother and sister, thought- 
ful for the comrades at school, thoughtful for 
all with whom you meet, caring not so much 
for your own comfort, or what you esteem 
your own rights. 

Remember that the largest lives, from the 
Master's down, have been those filled with 
thoughts for others. This thought encour- 
aged will grow as you grow, until it takes in 
all the world. Then there will be in your 
heart, not the one self alone, but crowding on 



SELF-FORGETTING. 67 

it the thousand millions and more of others, 
whose interests and whose welfare you are to 
consider. But, boys, you will not jump into 
such a self-forgetting as this, you must grow 
into it. 

In the old days Christ told His disciples to 
begin their work at Jerusalem ; so I think 
with us all we must begin with that which lies 
nearest. Just here in your own homes, in your 
own school-rooms, on your own play-grounds, 
you must forget self and remember others. 

"Look out for number one" is one of the 
meanest precepts of so-called worldly wisdom, 
which deceives with an air of sagacity and 
prudence. Within the covers of the Book you 
will find another quite the opposite, " Look 
not every man on his own things, but every 
man also on the things of others." 



XVI. 
BARGAINS. 

" BUY, who'll buy ?" is a song of life, and the 
things sold are not always " roses red." We 
are called a nation of traders, and the tradi- 
tional Yankee who sold his conscience with 
the wooden nutmegs, is by some considered 
our typical man. You boys will be likely to 
resent such an imputation as that, and quite 
right you are to do so. Indeed, I don't like 
the word bargain, myself, because it has come 
to be associated with much that is under- 
handed and tinged with dishonesty. Yet, to 
buy and sell is not dishonest ; to arrange terms 
for the exchange of something you have for 
something you want more, is right, and no 
word quite so well explains such a transaction 
as bargain. 

The proverb says, " It takes two to make a 
bargain," and it certainly does take two boys 
to trade jack-knives or marbles, or any of the 
many things to be found in that mine of 
wealth — a boy's pocket. But there are certain 
(68) 



BARGAINS. 69 

other exchanges which are made by one's-self 
with one's-self, exchanges wherein we get good 
bargains, or are most woefully cheated. It is 
bad enough to be cheated by other people ; 
we are not apt to love those who do it ; on 
that principle how some folks must hate their 
own selves ! 

Yes, you have each been trading to-day. 
Let us look into the market. Some have 
given six hours of play, for the sake of six 
hours in growing wiser; perhaps in school 
some have exchanged obedience for ill-timed 
fun. Again, some have given up the privi- 
leges of study for the sake of work, or of earn- 
ing a living. John, who lies groaning in bed 
to-day, gave up health for too much pie yes- 
terday. Alas ! many a man (I trust not any 
boy) has this day exchanged reason and self- 
respect, that he might drink — drink. You 
have heard of Benjamin Franklin, the sage of 
America. He said, " Don't give too much 
for the whistle/' and surely the man who 
makes such a bargain as that has given too 
much. 

What I wish you to think about is, that in 
all your life you will not get something for 
nothing; there will always be conditions, 
everywhere the lower should be sacrificed, 



70 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

given up, to the higher good. Now, in earthly 
affairs, what is lower or what is higher may be 

one thing for you, and quite a different thing 

i^r another; sometimes the two may even ex- 
change places. The young man who decides 
to be a farmer gives up the city life ; the mer- 
chant cannot in any large degree be a student; 
he who digs in gold mines doesn't expect the 
comforts of home, or the delights of refined 
society ; the missionary turns away from coun- 
try and friends to gain heathen souls ; the 
mother gladly gives up ease and comfort that 
she may watch over her restless child. 

We use common sense about this. The 
miner says, " Just now I want the gold more 
than I want the home comforts, or because it 
will give me the home comforts later on," and 
he doesn't whine and cry over his privations, 
but bears them like a man. For the present, 
gold is to him the greater good. The mer- 
chant doesn't read literature in his warehouse, 
though he might like to do so ; he attends to 
business; that is to him the higher good. 

Boys, you expect all this. When the time 
comes for you to choose life's work, you ex- 
pect to relinquish many attractive things, that 
you may take up one thing. But, I am sorry 
to say, when it comes to the highest good of 



BARGAINS. 71 

all, boys and men too take leave of common 
sense. They talk of what they must " give 
up " to be Christians. Every day of their 
lives up to the present, exchanging something 
for something, trying to make good bargains, 
and then hesitate and complain of giving up 
when, to speak reverently, the best bargain 
awaits them. 

I know a man to whom, years ago, this 
question came. He was a young lawyer then, 
trained to look on both sides, and balance 
arguments. He told me he took pen and 
paper and deliberately wrote down things for 
and against ; that is, the things he must ex- 
change for the privilege, so far as he knew it, 
of being a Christian, though of course he 
couldn't know the half then. I remember 
one of the things to be relinquished was a 
promising law partnership, which he then 
expected, but with an irreligious man, who 
wouldn't want him for a partner if he became 
a Christian. That was pretty hard, for he 
needed to get on in the world, as the saying 
is. But he wrote on till the pros far out- 
weighed the cons, and tipped the scale on the 
right side. 

Does it seem mercenary to talk in this way? 
I think not. It is a reasonable way. If you 



72 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

will turn to Matthew xvi. 26, you will find 
a certain question asked about this kind of 
exchange, and Christ once told a young man 
to sell all he had. What should he get for it ? 
4i Treasures in Heaven." 

So, boys, remember as you make your little 
bargains from day to day, life is a busy mart, 
in which if you would secure anything worth 
having, you must constantly give the lower for 
the higher, and if you do this always you will 
never be cheated, you will never pay too dear. 



XVII. 
TALK. 

A talk about talk? Yes, that is what 
we will have to-day. You would be amused, 
though, if you could know the number of titles 
I have thought about giving it. Speech, con- 
versation, slang, idle words, sounding brass, all 
these have suggested themselves without ex- 
actly meeting the case, so I decide it shall be 
simply " Talk," and I think that covers every- 
thing a boy can ordinarily say. 

I promised at the first I would say " Do " 
whenever it was possible, but I may feel obliged 
to say " Don't " this time, because in the mat- 
ter of speech most boys will do so much that 
I wish they would not. They will exaggerate ; 
they will use slang ; some are profane (though I 
hope not one of you), and it has been whispered 
to me that they do sometimes gossip ; all this 
without touching at all on the mistakes they 
make as to grammar and pronunciation. 

More than half the trouble lies in the false 
idea that such things are manly. It does seem 
a fine thing to tell a bigger story than the 

(73) 



74 TALKS WITH B( >YS. 

next fellow ; to have had more thrilling ad- 
ventures, though you stretch the truth to make 
them SO ; but you pay too dear, for after 
a while nobody believes you — they say : u Oh, 
he's a great brag! " and vote you a bore, and 
your reputation for truthfulness is gone. 

I hardly know why our young folks take to 
slang so readily. Perhaps this very tendency 
to exaggerate has taken from ordinary words 
their force of meaning ; you cannot make them 
say what you wish. Then comes in the slang 
word with no reason in it whatever, but seem- 
ing to express more than the proper one. 

A youngster of twelve in his talk the other 
day used some long word (I don't remember 
just what), when his father suggested that a 
more simple word would be better. My lad 
replied : " I wouldn't use it either, if I could 
be allowed to say what I want to. If I could 
do as I please, I should say ' Rats ! ' (I beg 
your pardon, one and all. I haven't the slight- 
est idea what " Rats " means as slang, but the 
incident is true.) You will tell me, and truly 
too, that some words first used as slang have 
been incorporated into the language and are 
now used by cultivated people. Well, my 
advice is, wait until they are so incorporated ; 
don't try to be pioneers ; pioneers always have 



TALK. 75 

a hard time, and in such a case as this it isn't 
worth while. If only as a matter of good taste 
and good breeding, don't, don't. The very 
definition of the term slang, and nearly always 
its origin, is something low and vulgar. 

As for profanity, the question is much more 
than one of taste or breeding; profanity is 
downright wickedness. I wonder how any one 
dares to take it on his lips, knowing what the 
Bible says about it. The Old Testament is ex- 
plicit as to the worst form, and the New Testa 
ment is just as explicit in condemning what men 
are wont to consider harmless and meaningless 
swearing. If any one of you has ever fallen into 
this temptation, I trust you have gone to God 
at once for forgiveness, and for help not to fall 
again. Besides, if you look at it, it is a disgrace- 
ful way of bolstering your own word ; as much 
as to say : " My simple word is not entitled to 
belief, I must fortify it with an oath." 

Do not be inclined to resent it if I warn you 
against gossip. I am very sure gossip is not 
confined to girls and women, though you may 
like to think so. The remedy is the same for 
you as for them : fill your minds with more 
profitable subjects, and thus reach the point 
where you have no relish for tittle-tattle, but 
turn from it in disgust. 



;G TALKS WITH BOYS. 

Just one other side of this many-sided topic 
let me touch upon. I wish I could gather for 
you all the passages in St. Paul's letters in which 
he warns his readers against impure talk — u cor- 
rupt communication/' u nor filthiness, nor fool- 
ish talking or jesting." I do not think the 
jesting mentioned there meant any kind of 
pure merriment ; but as if he was writing to men 
who had been wont to meet and exchange low 
stories, and he tells them it is not u befitting " 
them now that they are Christians. Boys, it is 
not befitting you either. Refuse to soil your 
lips with such talk, or to listen to it. Resolve 
to be clean through and through. 

I have heard of mothers who scrubbed out 
their children's mouths with soap and water, 
as a punishment for telling lies ; but as between 
the two faults mentioned, I think I should 
condemn the other even more severely than I 
would the lying. 

Remember, boys, talk is a very tell-tale. 
When you speak, education, refinement, good 
breeding, reverence, purity, or their odious op- 
posites, come right out and show themselves in 
your words. The Bible is a wonderful book 
for its insight into human nature, and it says, 
11 Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth 
speaketh." 



XVIII. 
READING. 

We have all laughed at the " country bump- 
kin " who on first dining at a city hotel looks 
over the menu in pleased surprise and tells the 
waiter he will " take a little of everything." 
But perhaps we are not so very unlike him 
when it comes to mental food ; we, too, take 
a little of everything. 

I am somewhat anxious, boys, lest you form 
bad habits in this regard. I wish you may be 
willing to receive advice from your teachers 
and those of larger experience than your own 
as to your reading. There are so many bright, 
attractive books now, especially adapted to a 
boy's taste ; books of travel and adventure, 
quite innocent, too. But they are of fleeting 
value ; ten years from now no one will remem- 
ber them. Do not think I condemn them ; 
they have their place, only let it not be too 
large a place. There are other books, a few 
compared to the great many, which the taste 
and wisdom of years have declared worthy to 

(77) 



;S TALKS WITH BOYS. 

live; they arc classics; nearly even- age has 
its own. You cannot afford to grow up in 
ignorance of them. What, though you vote 
them dull at first, you will not do so long, but 
will come, as your taste grows better, to de- 
light in them. Not all of you will go to col- 
lege ; but to each one in this day of cheap 
books the treasures of literature are open. 

I would have you get such an appetite for 
good books as you will not lose when you grow 
into active life. Business men especially, who 
have not much time for reading, are so apt to 
be satisfied with the daily newspapers, and 
often get to the point where they read little 
or nothing else. Now I expect you to read 
them ; of course I do; one ought to keep up 
with the life of the world ; but can you tell 
me any reason why a man should come home 
of an evening with his pockets overflowing 
with daily papers and fill his mind with all the 
slanderous things one political part}- can say 
of another, or with details of crimes and dire- 
ful deeds, till there is no time for what is pure 
and true, and at last no relish for it either? 

Do not, I pray you, treat your minds in 
such a way as that. The influence of reading 
upon character is wonderful, and the choice 
of it is much like the choice of friends ; many 



READING. 79 

a boy, alas ! becomes vicious by reading vi- 
cious things. I heard a gentleman, who had 
been a United States consul in Germany, say, 
that we boasted of the freedom of the press, 
and it was true no paper in that country 
would be allowed to print, and no child there 
would be allowed to look at, the things every 
child here may see and read every day. This 
may be a sweeping statement, but let me urge 
again that you cultivate persistently a liking 
for what is non-sensational, and of more than 
a passing interest. 

You will thus learn also how to use books. 
Bacon says : " Some books are to be tasted, 
others to be swallowed ; and some few to be 
chewed and digested "; and he goes so far as 
to affirm that " every defect of the mind may 
have a special receipt." 

It is a pleasant and useful attainment to be 
able to turn at once to an author, when a sen- 
tence or the hint of a sentence you have some 
time read, flashes into mind, to be able to say 
on the moment, " That is from Tennyson, or 
Addison, or Thackeray, or Faber," as the case 
may be, and to verify your memory from your 
book-shelves. Such ability comes only from 
patient reading, but the delight its possession 
brings is ample reward. 



So talks WITH BOYS. 

Dickens, in his inimitable way, tells of a 
young man who had no place to retire to, so 
44 he retired into himself." Despite its hu- 
mor, the expression suggests another sort of 
thought. Whomsoever you may live with, 
boys, you must in a large degree live with 
your own selves. Your minds are the rooms 
into which you must often retire, whether you 
like to do so or not. Will you fill them with 
rubbish? Ah! no; I trust not. Rather let 
them abound with treasures, let them be as 
places where you are glad to go. And remem- 
ber always that to each, the mind is God's 
wonderful gift, and that the best gratitude is 
shown by using the gift well. 



XIX. 

CONCENTRATION. 

Rather a long word, but let us not be 
afraid of it, for it says in one word what we 
must otherwise use several to express. When 
I was a very little girl I was put to writing my 
first composition, and the teacher gave me as 
a subject " Procrastination." Think of it! 
But I am sure now it was a real kindness, for 
those five syllables sent me to a dictionary. I 
don't remember whether I learned there that 
" procrastination is the thief of time/' but I 
do know that from that day the dictionary and 
I have been pretty good friends. I shall not 
mind, you see, if you turn at once to find out 
what concentration means. 

It is a common trick to hold a glass in a 
certain way so as to catch the rays of the sun 
and unite them on one point ; if that point 
happens to be one of your eyes you cannot 
bear the blinding light — you drop the lid at 
once. Or if you draw the rays to a paper it is 
scorched ; the heat which is so gentle when 

(81) 



82 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

diffused through space burns when focused 
thus. 

So, I think concentration is the focusing 
of power; or, to put it in simple phrase, it is 
the ability to do one thing at a time, and that 
may not be so easy as you suppose. Jt docs 
not follow that you should use more power 
than is necessary for a given purpose ; you 
need not take a sledge-hammer to drive a 
tack ; but the ability to employ just the power 
needed, to so put your thoughts on the matter 
in hand as not to be distracted by other things, 
is what I have in mind. It is a habit distinctly 
to be cultivated by the constraint of will. 

I do think it comes easier to men than to 
women, because women have such a mul- 
titude of cares which beset them all the time. 
One cannot wonder if in the midst of delight- 
ful conversation the house-mother's thoughts 
wander to the jelly which Bridget may let burn, 
or question whether the new maid will spill 
the soup at dinner. But such anxieties will 
not come to you. 

How many of you can read with any satis- 
faction in a room where others are talking? 
How many can come in from the play-ground, 
and in two minutes be absorbed in the les- 
sons? I don't think it would be so difficult a 



CONCENTRATION. 83 

question to determine how many could go 
out to the play-ground and instantly leave 
the lesson behind. There would be a great 
show of hands on that. 

You will not fail to catch sight of the ad- 
vantages gained by this ability to do one 
thing at a time. It will make you thorough 
in any work, physical or mental ; thorough in 
play, too. It is a sign of a healthy mind ; 
none but a sound mind can so act. It will 
make you clear thinkers ; you will be able to 
follow an argument through many windings, 
and detect the fallacies if there be any. It 
will give clear expression to thoughts, and 
you will find it a great time-saver. He who 
thinks clearly, thinks quickly ; his thoughts 
are not like a brood of chickens, only gathered 
to stray away again ; he need not spend his 
time in continually calling them back. It will 
be a safeguard against temptation and wick- 
edness, since you have gained the power to 
turn the thoughts and keep them turned, and 
for the same reason it will save you from the 
harassing cares and sadness which so often 
darken life's day, by enabling you to persist 
in looking on the bright side. It will mul- 
tiply a thousandfold your power for good 
work. The sun's rays might fall all summer 



84 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

long on the white paper and only dim its 
whiteness; it is when they are focused, con- 
centrated at one point, that the paper burns. 

The world has seen many examples of this 
power. Most men who have had great in- 
fluence have been able to say when occasion 
required: " This one thing I do." Perhaps 
I would better say here that I am not wishing 
you to become fanatics — men with hobbies, 
those who are called men " of one idea," for 
that means narrowness of mind — but rather 
that whatever comes within the circle of your 
duty or your rightful pleasure, you may at- 
tend upon " without distraction." 



XX. 

COURAGE. 

Many centuries ago it happened that a cer- 
tain nation had trouble with some neighboring 
nations, so that a battle was impending. The 
general in command sent out his order for the 
fighting men to rendezvous at a given place. 
After they were gathered there, a curious or- 
der came from headquarters— an order which 
had been made part of the military code long 
before, but I doubt if in these days you ever 
heard anything like it. It was this : " Who- 
soever is fearful and afraid, let him return. " 
The reason given in the code for an order so 
unique was, lest the cowardice should be catch- 
ing, or in the exact words, " lest his brethren's 
heart faint as well as his heart. " If you will 
believe it, in this case more than two-thirds 
of that army melted away — they were afraid 
and went home. You see it is a good plan 
in this world " to keep a stiff upper lip," if 
only that others needn't lose heart. 

I know a woman even (and I suppose you 

(85) 



86 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

think women haven't much courage) who suf- 
fers all the time ; but she resolved long ago 
that, as far as possible, no one should be dis- 
couraged or made unhappy by her; so she 
goes on uncomplaining with bright looks, 
cheerful talk, and sweet smiles; the sorrow is 
there, but persistently put out of sight ; and 
so it comes to pass that once in a while she 
forgets it, and it nearly ceases to ache. Which 
shows that there is more than one kind of 
courage, and that it is sometimes another 
name for unselfishness. 

Boys are supposed to have plenty of the 
physical sort ; as a rule they don't jump on 
chairs at the sight of a mouse, as Mr. How- 
ells thinks girls do ; they can go to bed and 
to sleep despite stories of hobgoblins and 
ghosts, and are not haunted by visions of Blue 
Beard at the back of the bed. As a rule, I 
say, because even among you there are sensi- 
tive, timid souls, who consider yourselves dis- 
graced by fears you would not breathe aloud. 
I dare say such may excel in moral courage, 
which is a far higher trait. 

You remember reading about the soldier 
who taunted his comrade with being afraid ; 
but the other said : " If you were half as much 
afraid as I am, you would run away." That 



COURAGE. 87 

is the right kind of courage ; knowing the 
danger, it yet stands firm at any post of duty. 

Now, boys, you will not go through life, 
you haven't gone so far, I am sure, without 
meeting this quality in many of its variations. 
I venture to say that already some one has 
taunted you with being tied to apron-strings 
when you heeded your mother's wishes, or 
laughed at you for going to Sunday-school, 
or sneered because you prayed ; for boys can 
do and say very contemptible things to other 
boys. If you were resolute through it all, 
and went straight on doing the right thing, 
that was moral courage. 

There is fortitude also ; the courage of en- 
durance : " Behold, we count them happy 
which endure." Perhaps that will come to 
you ; I think it will in some way. There is a 
long line of such people, — martyrs, soldiers, 
sick people, bereaved people, all who must 
suffer and wait, belong to that class ; but the 
Bible says they are " happy," or as the Re- 
vision has it, " blessed," which I take to be a 
higher word than happy. 

Duty will sometimes call you to be one of 
a forlorn hope ; the many have deserted the 
good cause. Or duty will require you to be 
aggressive, at the risk of ridicule or of real 



88 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

danger. The ways are without number, and 
as varied as they are man)', where you will 
need courage. How are you to get it, or 
having it, to keep it ? I firmly believe there is 
nothing helps so much as trust in God. Listen 
to the message which always came to the 

Old Testament heroes ; however the words 
changed, but one meaning rang through the 
changes : u Fear thou not, for I am with thee ; 
be not dismayed, for I am thy God." 

Some of you have read that charming book 
of Dickens', " A Child's History of England." 
You remember at the battle of Crecy the 
Black Prince was in command, while the 
King, his father, watched the conflict at a lit- 
tle distance. There came an hour when the 
day looked black to the English, blacker than 
the Prince's own armor, and somebody rode 
up to the King, asking him to send help. 

11 Is my son killed ? " said the King. 

14 No, sire, please God," returned the mes- 
senger. 

44 Is he wounded?" said the King. 

44 No, sire, not so ; but he is very hard 
pressed/ 9 

44 Then," said the King, " go back to those 
who sent you, and tell them I shall send 
no aid ; because I set my heart upon my son 



COURAGE. 89 

proving himself this day a brave knight ; and 
because I am resolved, please God, that the 
honor of a great victory shall be his ! " 

So to you as Christian soldiers, fighting 
battles for the right in your own hearts or in 
the world, if there come times when you are 
sore pressed and losing heart, do not think 
God your Father has forsaken you. Rather 
does He watch the contest, wishing you to 
" endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus 
Christ, " wishing you to prove yourselves brave 
knights, but keeping never so far away that 
He will not send His aid rather than allow 
you to suffer defeat. 

" Thrice blest is he to whom is given 
The instinct that can tell, 
That God is on the field when He 
Is most invisible." 



XXI. 
INDEPENDENCE. 

What a Fourth-of-July ring the word has! 
I remember hearing a brother tell his sister 
when she refused his aid in a certain way, 
that " the only trouble with her was that she 
was born on the Fourth of July." She wasn't, 
but that was his manner of saying she was too 
independent. I will not judge in her case, 
but only suggest this thought that although 
independence is a superior quality, it may 
u o'erleap itself M and become disagreeable and 
even dangerous. 

It is noble for a boy to set out resolved to 
be self-reliant ; to make his own way, to think 
his own thoughts, to live his own life, if so be 
that way and those thoughts and that life are 
carried forward on right principles ; if so be 
he doesn't forget that there are other people 
in the world to be considered. It is one of 
the paradoxes we continually run against, that 
while it is a duty to be independent, we must 
every day depend on some one outside of 
(90) 



INDEPENDENCE. 9 1 

ourselves, and we must constantly regulate 
our conduct, or sacrifice our freedom, lest we 
do harm to others. I fear some of you may 
grow up with wrong notions on this subject. 
Conceit, and swagger, and bluster are not 
marks of independence, though many boys 
act as if they thought so. The ring is loud 
enough, it is true, but it is the ring of base 
metal and deceives no educated ear. Boys 
are apt to consider it independent to cultivate 
certain bad or questionable habits, and that 
is a disastrous mistake. Settle it with your- 
selves that true freedom is never lawlessness, 
it is never freedom to do wrong. 

You remember reading about a young fel- 
low who thought he would like to cut loose 
from his father's control, and have his own 
money to spend as he chose. (I presume 
some of you may have felt just so, though I 
trust you never went so far as he did.) The 
father decided to let him try it, so he went 
off in a very gay fashion, and imagined he 
had a pretty good time for a while, with no- 
body to tell him, " You mustn't do this or 
that," throwing his money right and left for 
any bauble that caught his eye, or any pleas- 
ure that suited his fancy. I've no doubt he 
considered it being independent. But you 



CJ2 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

know there came a sad time when his money 
was all gone, wasted "with riotous living," 
and he was very glad to come back to the old 
home in his hunger and rags, and receive the 
kind father's welcome. I am sure you will 
say you wouldn't care about such independ- 
ence as that. 

Another aspect of this trait is fascinating to 
young minds. I suppose most lads approach- 
ing young manhood, aspire to be independent 
thinkers. To strike out for one's-self on in- 
tellectual lines, to discover a truth, ah ! that is 
glorious! Perhaps because religious truth is 
the most important of any, it is on that line 
this original (?) thinking usually goes. Now- 
adays when older people hear of an " in- 
dependent thinker," they smile to themselves 
and wonder who has demolished the Bible 
this time! It is a characteristic of youth to 
suppose independence must mean difference. 
Professor Beecher puts these words into the 
mouth of Theophilus Luke, " It never oc- 
curred to me that two men thinking independ- 
ently, might reach the same results, just as 
well as reach opposite results." It is not a 
mark of superior intelligence or of freedom 
from bigotry to set one's-self opposed to es- 
tablished principles, though many a young 



INDEPENDENCE. 93 

man does that because he thinks it is. True 
independence can be meek and lowly. 

You are ready at this point to exclaim, 
" There is no freedom, after all ; every way I 
turn I find control/' and that is true. There 
will never be freedom to do wrong, never 
freedom to forget what is due to others. 

But there may be independence in every 
right way ; earn your own living when that 
is what you ought to do ; dig out your Greek 
without help ; don't keep a " pony "; form 
no habits which will hurt a weak brother ; be 
able to say u no "; these are simple, practical 
methods to begin with. The Bible says, 
" His servants ye are whom ye obey," and 
if you love the right you don't feel any bonds 
in obeying the right, any more than you feel 
in bondage to your mother if you love her. 
Wordsworth puts the seeming contradiction 
thus: " Humble dependence and manly in- 
dependence ; humble dependence on God, 
and manly reliance on self." 



XXII. 
REVERENCE. 

A LEARNED Jewish writer in The Sunday- 
School Times tells us that it was the custom 
among his people for the mothers to send 
their boys early to the synagogue, that they 
might rise and salute the aged fathers when 
they arrived. I have been told that in the 
old times mentioned in our first talk, the 
young folks always stood on one side for the 
minister to pass, and made their bow, or 
dropped their courtesy, as the case might be, 
in honor of his sacred calling. I know now a 
young man who never passes a burial-ground 
where any friend of his is sleeping, without 
lifting his hat. Do not call this superstition ; 
it seems to me rather a gentle act of rev- 
erence. 

I am sure, boys, you will not consider it 
unfair if I judge that many of you are lacking 
in this trait. Sometimes I think the trouble 
lies in the very desire for independence we 
talked about just now. This is such a free 
(94) 



REVERENCE. 95 

country, and you so delight in being free, that 
you grow jealous of any person or thing 
which seems to demand your homage ; you 
are very much afraid you will not be esteemed 
quite so highly as somebody else unless you 
constantly assert yourselves, and this leads 
unconsciously to a sad lack of this desirable 
quality ; for I maintain that a spirit of rev- 
erence marks a fine nature — a nature which 
discerns what is true, and pure, and lofty, and 
loves it with a love near to worship. 

Now you ought to start with the truth 
that reverence is due to whatever is worthily 
superior in humanity and to all sacred places, 
things, and persons. 

Suppose you ask yourselves how nearly you 
reach such a standard as this. How do you 
treat older people ? I can hardly believe one 
boy to whom I talk would say " the old man " 
or " the old woman" when speaking of his 
father or mother, though I am told some boys 
do use such epithets. I know there is a great 
deal of careless, playful speech used about 
parents and teachers and college professors. 
Perhaps it is only exuberant fun, but do be 
careful lest it become a habit. And do re- 
member that the very fact that a person is old 
brings a certain claim to your deference in- 



96 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

dependent of relationship or authority, or even 
of character. "Thou shalt rise up before 
the hoary head" was the precept the Jewish 
mothers kept in mind for their children. 

How do you behave in church, or in any 
place where the Bible is read or prayer 
offered ? I actually once saw a boy reading 
a novel during the Scripture lesson at morn- 
ing prayers. He was away from his parents 
and the restraints of home (if his home had 
any restraints), and he had the grace to put 
himself and his book behind a large piece of 
furniture where he thought he was unseen. I 
do not think many would offend in that way, 
but I should hardly feel free to ask how many 
of you show proper reverence by your at- 
titude in prayer time, or how many sit bolt 
upright staring about with open eyes. How 
many of you employ the moments of the 
benediction in diving for your caps and get- 
ting in good readiness to rush out the instant 
the " Amen" is spoken ? Some boys are so 
unwilling to bethought religious, as unwilling 
as if religion was a disgrace, that they will 
omit common courtesy in these things. There 
is such power in habit and association that I 
venture to say one who enters a place of wor- 
ship with a reverent mind will not keep that 



REVERENCE. 97 

mind long if he allows himself to assume a 
careless posture. 

Then there are those who use words of 
Scripture to point a joke. I am sorry to be 
obliged to confess that this is not confined to 
young people or to bad people. Let us not 
do it. Not only is it irreverent, but it brings 
such bad results. There are precious pas- 
sages which we cannot recall without the 
thought also of some would-be witty turn, 
and by so much their sacred influence is 
marred. You would not like to have ex- 
pressions taken from your father's letter, 
turned and twisted and made light of, to suit 
the purpose of some fun-loving friend ; you 
would resent it. The Bible is our Heavenly 
Father's letter to us, His children, and shall 
we treat it with less respect ? 

So we mount up in our thought of rev- 
erence due, to that which we owe to the 
Divine. Never be ashamed of such reverence, 
my lads. The highest honor here is to do 
homage, the noblest place is at His feet. 



XXIII. 

VOCATIONS AND AVOCATIONS. 

I SUPPOSE you have each given more or 
less thought to what you will be. At least, 
I asked a boy of eight the other day, and he 
answered promptly that he was going to be a 
minister; the reason for it was also forth- 
coming, " Because papa is a minister." More- 
over, he told me that his two brothers, a trifle 
older than himself, had settled the matter — 
one was to be an engineer, and the other, if I 
mistake not, had about decided he should be 
a cab-driver. I remember a little fellow of 
four, who used to push open my door and 
throw my mail matter in. When I reproved 
him, saying, "Charlie, you should knock and 
then hand me the papers quietly," he replied, 
" Why, I'm going to be a newspaper-carrier, 
and that's the way they do ! M No intentional 
breach of politeness, you see, but an attempt 
to fulfil manifest destiny. Which shows that 
every boy, from the smallest up, is planning to 
be something, to have a vocation ; and though 
(9») 



VOCATIONS AND AVOCATIONS. 99 

the plans may be subject to daily revision, 
the fact remains. 

There is something inspiring about this. 
It looks as if the world were " all before you 
where to choose." Here, too, is all the work 
of the world to be done ; what part of it shall 
each elect to do ? You think of your voca- 
tion as your trade, your business, your pro- 
fession — all that and more — it is your calling. 
Where there is a calling, somebody calls. 
This is recognized in the case of clergymen. 
" He had a call to preach," " He has mistaken 
his calling "; many remarks of that kind are 
made. 

Now, my lads, the thought for you is that 
each one ought to be called of God to his 
special work as truly as the minister is. If 
every young man brought a consecrated pur- 
pose to bear on his choice, if each one asked 
with St. Paul, " Lord, what wilt Thou have me 
to do?" there would be fewer failures, fewer 
vain endeavors to make a round peg fill a 
square hole. To every child who asks his 
Heavenly Father in all sincerity, will come an 
answer. The answer may come in one way 
to you, and in another way to me, but in some 
way it will come. 

Do not be afraid such a questioning will 



IOO TALKS WITH BOYS. 

make you all ministers or missionaries ; it will 
not. Do you not suppose Christian merchants 
and lawyers are needed? Do you think it 
would hurt a physician if he considered his a 
sacred calling and could offer a prayer for his 
patient, commending him to the Divine Phy- 
sician ? Would it lessen the watchfulness of 
a railway engineer if he believed God had laid 
on him the responsibility of human lives? 

Believe me, boys, the work to be done in 
this world is our Heavenly Father's work, and 
it is not putting it too strongly to say that you 
have no right to lay a finger on it without His 
bidding. His call will direct you into all 
honest callings, and will dignify the humblest 
work. Without doubt it will send many of 
you into the sacred desk and many more of 
you to heathen shores, for the thought that 
all the work is His will lead you to ask Him 
where the need is greatest. But lay your 
young lives at His feet, and then whatever 
your vocation is to be it will surely come to 
you by the call of God. 

A few words now about avocations. You 
see the word is just like the other except for 
the prefix of one letter; but that one letter 
changes the meaning from a calling to a call- 
ing aside. To put it so a boy can understand 



VOCATIONS AND AVOCATIONS. IOI 

it at once, it means that while you ought to 
work most of the time when you are grown 
up, you ought also to play a little; that is, 
you ought to have something which calls 
you aside from your regular work and is a 
recreation, though of course it needn't be 
what you now name play. I presume you 
think that will be easy enough no matter how 
old you are, but it will not be. Strange as it 
may seem, men get wedded to their daily 
work, and work on and on till all at once they 
break down. They might have held out so 
much longer if each one had had an avocation. 
If they don't break down they grow narrow- 
minded from thinking always in one groove. 
Therefore I hope, boys, you will each culti- 
vate a taste for something, some pursuit 
which is a complete change from your daily 
work, a>nd to which you can turn for rec- 
reation. If you become brain-workers let 
your avocation take you out of doors, among 
trees and rocks, or into shops where you can 
use tools; if your labor is with the hands 
then you can turn to books and pictures and 
quiet things for rest. Let not your vocation 
be a tyrant and you its slave ; let it rather be 
your kind master who sometimes gives his 
faithful workman a holiday. 



XXIV. 
WHAT FOR? 

I HAVE never seen an intelligent lad who 
did not ask, " What for?" and I am sure the 
question will wait upon us all as long as we 
live. It seems well, therefore, to stop here and 
try to answer it in one of its variations. The 
framers of the Catechism put it in a little differ- 
ent form, and considered it of prime importance 
when they asked: " What is the chief end of 
man?" 

That is to say, boys, why should you be 
true, and brave, and pure, and kind, and un- 
selfish, and industrious? Shall all these noble 
qualities simply end in self; only serve your- 
self? That is impossible; it is a contradiction 
in terms. We read of our Master that He 
11 went about doing good "; that was the out- 
ward way in which He glorified the Father; 
and He began very young, too; as young as 
some of you ; for at twelve years old He said : 
" I must be about my Father's business." 

I want this talk to be very practical. I have 
tried to make it clear that to be a Christian 
(102) 



WHAT FOR? 103 

is the first thing; that you cannot have the 
best traits of character without seeking the 
help of God. Starting from this point, 
" What for " is your life ? Suppose you make 
money, shall you be a miser? Ah! no, not 
that. Shall you spend it all upon yourself, 
even though it be in refined and cultivated 
ways? Ah! no again, I trust. Will you not 
rather take a large part in the beneficence of 
the world? 

Once a company of men and women gath- 
ered in a drawing-room to hold a missionary 
meeting. One man spoke of a lady who had just 
given a valuable jewel, almost an heirloom it 
had been in her family so long, to be disposed 
of for the cause. Another said he had also 
received a gift of five dollars from a lady, 
which gift had its little history. She had a 
new gown, and the dressmaker recommended 
some ornament which would cost five dollars. 
She had quietly resolved to dispense with the 
garniture and give the money to missions. 
A woman listened in silence, one who did not 
make speeches, but this time she wanted to 
make one very much. Shall I tell you what 
she wanted to say? Thus would have run 
her little discourse : " Yes, gentlemen, this is 
all true, and much more. All over the land 



IU4 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

women arc saving, and scrimping themselves, 
twenty-five cents here, fifty cents there, for 
these causes, and getting their reward in the 
loving service. But why don't you who hold 
the money, do your noble part, instead of 
patting us on the head?" She was a Presby- 
terian woman, however, and I think this is 
the first time her thoughts have taken form 
in words. 

I would not ignore the many generous gifts 
of generous men, yet I feel like putting this 
strongly ; not because money ought to be, 
but because it is the objective point in most 
men's lives, and I do firmly believe if it was 
used rightly the world's good work would be 
done up in a hurry. You know the story 
that is told of a British seaman who was 
asked how long it would take to carry the 
flag of England to every country in the 
world, and he answered : " I think we could 
do it in eighteen months, sir." Then the ap- 
plication was made : " It has taken Christians 
more than eighteen centuries to carry their 
standard to every country." 

Make up your minds that you are to have 
a share in this work. Do not leave mission- 
ary societies and attendance on prayer-meet- 
ings to women and girls. I also firmly believe 



WHAT FOR? 105 

the time will come, perhaps in some rare in- 
stances has come already, when young men 
with gifts that way will feel the call to make 
money for the Lord as directly as the call to 
His ministry. 

But let not this content you ; the Master 
asks hand to hand work. Wherever it is best, 
give yourselves. It is not especially hard for 
a rich man, who is not penurious, to give his 
ten dollars here, his hundred dollars there, 
and dismiss the beggar from his thoughts. He 
may even be selfish in the act ; it is an easy 
way to get rid of a disagreeable interruption. 
But the kind word, the thoughtful inquiry, 
the help which sets the beggar on his feet 
and makes him a workingman, that sort of 
thing is quite repugnant. Yet this you must 
often be ready to do, my boys. 

You will see that underlying any profession, 
any business, any calling, any power or talent, 
must be the aim to follow the Master, to " go 
about doing good." You remember in the 
parable the commendation was, " Inasmuch as 
ye did it." Whittier says : 

" One in our faith, and one our longing 
To make the world within our reach 
Somewhat the better for our living, 
And gladder for our human speech." 



106 TALKS WITH BOYS. 

Just one thing more, as this may be our 
last talk. There was never so much done for 
young people as now to guide them in right 
ways. Organizations multiply; Temperance 
Unions, Christian Endeavor Societies, Chris- 
tian Associations, each good, I am sure. Only 
I would have you guard against this: do not 
let any one or all of them take the place of 
the oldest and best Christian organization, 
the Church. Be sure, if Christ is in your 
heart, that you confess Him openly and work 
with His Church. Be sure, too, that the study 
of the Bible and prayer are the sentinels 
which guard your lives, and see that they are 
on daily duty. Good-bye, my lads. 



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